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Tallahassee’s going Looney Tunes over immigration • Florida Phoenix

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floridaphoenix.com – Diane Roberts – 2025-02-03 06:00:00

Tallahassee’s going Looney Tunes over immigration

by Diane Roberts, Florida Phoenix
February 3, 2025

Ron DeSantis is spittle-spouting, white boot-stamping, holding-his breath-till-he’s-blue, screaming-till-he’s-sick mad.

He’s toddler mad, Elmer Fudd mad: like, vewy, vewy angwy.

The Florida Legislature has defied him; dissed him; insulted him.

They showed up for the special session he demanded, gaveled in, gaveled out, and declared their own special session.

Then they trashed his hateful immigration bill and passed their own, infinitesimally less hateful, immigration bill.

The slap-fight is on, y’all.

DeSantis called the Legislature’s bill “toothless,” “grotesque,” and “weak, weak, weak.”

The Legislature, belatedly remembering they’re a co-equal branch of government, channeled their inner Bugs Bunny, and proclaimed, “Of course, you realize this means war!”

Daniel Perez via Florida House

House Speaker Daniel Perez and Senate President Ben Albritton called DeSantis’ rant a “blatant lie and accused him of bullying.

Plus, he wouldn’t return their phone calls.

The governor’s bill would have made it a state crime for the undocumented to cross the sacred border of Florida, even though some will have legally sought asylum and most are not, by any stretch of the imagination, criminals.

The bill would have forced Western Union, MoneyGram, and the like to police the citizenship of anyone trying to send money abroad.

If some hapless cop failed to be sufficiently “tough” on alleged “illegals,” DeSantis would have that cop arrested.

See, DeSantis is the hero of his bill, the sheriff valiantly saving White America from the Invading Horde — including the guy mowing your lawn.

So what if that guy ends up stateless, separated from his family, or back in a country where he’s likely to be killed?

It’s not like he’s an American.

Trumpier than thou

DeSantis insists he’s the one to double and triple down on the Gestapo-adjacent policies hourly spewing out of the Oval Office: He’s the Trumpiest! He wakes up every morning feeling the Trumpiest!

But the Florida Legislature, knowing the Naranja Suprema de Mar-a-Lago responds best to shameless flattery, called Daddy to ask what he wanted in the bill and named it the “Tackling and Reforming Unlawful Migration Policy Act:” TRUMP.

Sycophancy is not the same as cleverness.

But never fear: It’s not like the Legislature has suddenly discovered empathy. Their bill is almost as inhumane as DeSantis’.

It strips out the remittance part and the cop-arresting part, but takes away in-state tuition for Dreamers–you don’t want to educate young people who, through no fault of their own, were brought to the US as small children.

Let them mow lawns and pick tomatoes and put up dry wall!

Oh, wait: We’re getting rid of the people who do those jobs.

Sen. Randy Fine claims it will “save” the state $45 million.

It will not. The state does not pay these students’ tuition. They pay it, just like every other Florida student.

Fine doesn’t care: His specialty is performative hatred and blue-ribbon Trump toadying, qualities which are about to get him elected to the U.S. Congress from the 6th District.

On April Fools’ Day, no less.

Egg Farmer

The main difference between the bills is that the lawmakers’ doesn’t make the governor Emperor of Immigration, as he desires.

Instead, it puts in charge one Wilton Earl Simpson, Commissioner of Agriculture.

This is a calculated slap upside the gubernatorial head.

Snarling like an enraged mole rat, DeSantis posted on the Elon Musk Cartoon Channel (aka X), “Wilton Simpson has voted to give drivers licenses and in-state tuition to illegals. He even refused to oppose allowing illegals to practice law in Florida. Do we want the fox guarding the henhouse?”

Wilton Simpson is a chicken farmer.

Simpson spat back: “I’m not the one who opposed and ran against President Trump.”

Simpson added, “DeSantis’ routine attacks on farmers don’t sit well here in Florida — and apparently not with folks across the country either.”

Mee-freaking-ow.

Torch songs

Democratic lawmakers allowed themselves a rare moment of schadenfreude mixed with music.

During a meeting in the Capitol, House Minority Leader Fentrice Driskell played Goyte’s “Somebody That I Used to Know,” calling it a great break-up song.

It goes: “Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over/But had me believing it was always something that I’d done.”

Florida Republicans are not famous for brain power, but it looks like they realize Ron DeSantis is increasingly impotent — irrelevant, even.

Donald Trump doesn’t like him.

Come 2026, he’s out of a job.

Lawmakers don’t need to suck up to him any more.

Maybe he’ll run for U.S. Senate against former Florida A.G. Ashley Moody, the woman he appointed to fill the seat of now Secretary of State Marco Rubio.

Maybe he’ll run for president in 2028, although the nation took a good look at him in 2024, and the nation said, “Oh, HELL no!”

Whatever his future, these days DeSantis is becoming shrill, declaring he’ll veto the Legislature’s bill, flying around the state (at taxpayer expense, naturally), telling Floridians to get up in their lawmakers’ faces and demand complete capitulation: “You have your marching orders.”

Any politician who dares disobey him will face a primary opponent more to the governor’s liking, bankrolled by DeSantis’ Florida Freedom Fund.

And more! He just hasn’t decided yet what other terrifying vengeance he will wreak.

DeSantis is Yosemite Sam without the rustic charm — same absurd fantasies about ridding himself of pesky varmints impeding his bid to get back into Donald Trump’s good graces, same inability to figure out how: “Don’t rush me, I’m-a-thinkin’! And my head hurts.”

Florida Phoenix is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Florida Phoenix maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Michael Moline for questions: info@floridaphoenix.com.

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The Senate is voting on whether to block Trump’s global tariffs amid economic turmoil

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www.clickorlando.com – Mary Clare Jalonick, Associated Press – 2025-04-30 16:28:00

SUMMARY: Senate Democrats are forcing a vote on blocking global tariffs announced by Donald Trump earlier in April. After market turmoil, Trump suspended the tariffs for 90 days. Senate Democrats aim to challenge the policy and force Republicans to take a stance. While 47 Senate Democrats are expected to support the resolution, Republicans are hesitant, with some opposing it to avoid rebuking Trump. Despite concerns over the economic impact, Republicans are wary of crossing the president. Democrats argue the tariffs harm the economy and increase recession risks, pushing the resolution as a way to reassert congressional power.

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The post The Senate is voting on whether to block Trump’s global tariffs amid economic turmoil appeared first on www.clickorlando.com

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South Florida Weather for Wednesday 4/30/2025 12PM

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www.youtube.com – CBS Miami – 2025-04-30 11:54:10

SUMMARY: South Florida’s weather for Wednesday, April 30, 2025, features breezy conditions, with highs in the low 80s and an east breeze of 10-18 mph, gusting to 25 mph. There’s a risk of rip currents, extended through Friday, making swimming dangerous. While the day remains mostly dry with a mix of sun and clouds, isolated showers are possible. By Friday, rain chances increase, with isolated showers. The weekend brings higher chances of afternoon thunderstorms, especially on Sunday, along with rising temperatures. A 20% chance of rain is expected on Saturday, and 40% on Sunday.

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NEXT Weather meteorologist Lissette Gonzalez says Wednesday afternoon will be seasonable and breezy with wind gust up to 20 mph.

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Florida House passes expansive state farm bill | Florida

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www.thecentersquare.com – By Steve Wilson | The Center Square – (The Center Square – ) 2025-04-30 11:33:00

(The Center Square) – The Florida Legislature passed its farm bill this week that officials say could be the most expansive farm-related measure in the state’s history.

Senate Bill 700 was passed 88-27 in the House of Representatives on Tuesday and is now headed to Gov. Ron DeSantis for a likely signature. The Senate passed the 111-page measure 27-9 on April 16. 

SB700, which was sponsored by Sen. Keith Truenow, R-Tavares, would protect farmers from environmental, social, and governance-related bias from lenders, ban the addition of medicine such as fluoride from being added to the water supply, bolster the disaster recovery loan program for farmers and preventing the mislabeling of plant-based products as milk, meat, poultry or eggs.

The fluoride additive ban would not remove any chemical required for water purification. 

A similar regulation in Mississippi was changed in 2019 after a vegan food manufacturer, represented by the Institute for Justice, filed a lawsuit on First Amendment grounds. 

During debate, Rep. Anna Eskamani, D-Orlando, mentioned a legal challenge to the state’s law on laboratory-grown meat and possible legal challenges to the labeling part of the legislation. 

“Consumers aren’t confused, but if anything, the expansion of alternative meat, alternative protein products is based on demand and companies wouldn’t do it there wasn’t demand for it,” Eskamani said. “The changes in this bill, the goal is to hinder that demand by creating confusion.

“And so to trust the free market means to allow companies to advertise themselves and appeal to consumers based on quality and I think I can speak for some members that some of these alternative products aren’t very good. To insert ourselves between the consumer and the product by forcing them to not to use specific language is a step too far. It restricts free speech and it’s just unnecessary.”

Two amendments she tried to add on the bill to eliminate the labeling and fluoride components died on voice votes. 

Under SB700, local governments would be banned from zoning changes that would make it impossible for agricultural facilities to be placed on school property for 4-H and Future Farmers of America. 

The bill would also prohibit local governments from banning housing for legally verified farm workers on farms. It would also create a requirement for legal worker eligibility to prevent noncitizens from working on farms. 

The bill even stretches to Second Amendment issues, as it will streamline the state’s concealed carry permit process.

The measure would also forbid drones on state hunting lands or private shooting ranges for the purpose of harassment.

Charitable organizations would be prohibited from receiving foreign contributions from “countries of concern” such as Iran, Venezuela, China, Cuba, North Korea and Syria. 

“This legislation is a blueprint for protecting Floridians and our freedoms,” said Florida Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson in a release. “We are banning medicine – including fluoride – from Florida’s public water systems. We are keeping foreign countries of concern out of Florida’s charitable organizations.

“We are ensuring honesty in food labeling – milk comes from a cow, not an almond. We are upholding Second Amendment rights and cracking down on drone harassment of hunters.”

The post Florida House passes expansive state farm bill | Florida appeared first on www.thecentersquare.com



Note: The following A.I. based commentary is not part of the original article, reproduced above, but is offered in the hopes that it will promote greater media literacy and critical thinking, by making any potential bias more visible to the reader –Staff Editor.

Political Bias Rating: Center-Right

The content presents a description of the Florida Legislature’s farm bill (SB700), emphasizing provisions that align with conservative political values, such as the protection of farmers from ESG-related bias, the restriction on certain food labeling, and measures around the Second Amendment and foreign contributions to charitable organizations. The tone of the article highlights actions that may appeal to right-leaning audiences, especially those supportive of agricultural, conservative, and pro-Second Amendment policies. While the article reports on the legislative process and includes a variety of perspectives, including a Democratic representative’s opposition, the framing and tone lean toward presenting the bill’s provisions positively, suggesting a preference for conservative positions. The article provides factual details but could be perceived as highlighting the bill’s conservative aspects more than its potential drawbacks or opposing views.

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